I've been here for 45 days.
I just read back through my blog. It started off with wonder, showing you all the sights, telling you all about the smells, the feel. It was a log of my experience, and it still is.
I realised that my experience took a turn a couple of weeks back.
It changed from wonder,
excitement and exploration, to party time. Living a young single man's life. Drinking, flirting, socialising as much as
possible. At first this was all important... to establish myself in this new community, this new culture. To be recognised. It was easy, the place was welcoming.
I don't really need to continue to do this.
At first the people were varied, then they became familiar, and now
they're friends.
Young men, for the most part.
I've been there and done that. I've put in my time. I've probably partied enough to fill the void for many of you. Ibiza, Amsterdam, Prague, Romania, 5 weeks in the Maldives and
Sri Lanka, New York.
This summer just past I think we hosted 3 full on
partys!?, Hayden's Pirate party,
Kath's Karaoke and Halloween.
I have realised this week why I've been going out. It's not to try to be young again. It's not to fit in. It's not to find new friends.
It's because Kath is not here.
I will continue this way until she arrives, but at least I know now.
I speak to Hayden most days on
MSN. But since my laptop broke I was unable to video call for well over a week. At first I used to miss him the most. I thought I was missing out on a big part of his life.
But that was selfish... it was all about me!
He's not so fussed that I'm not there, and he'll not remember it.
But Kath... she'll remember these 45 days.
And she needs me....
And I'm not there....
I've got friends here, I can go out on a whim. I love my job.
I'll happily stay and program until 10 at night before leaving the office at the moment.
I'm also able to help someone here too, help them stay sane.
But I left her in the UK, to basically lodge for 2 months and work a job she can't wait to leave. Looking after Hayden, and not feeling too well at the moment. Not able to sleep, and not even able to see me on Skype.
No hugs, no cuddles.
I get hugs... I get my hug, in a mug... of beer. It helps to ignore it, to pass the time.
So if anyone reading this can understand, go and give Kath a big hug for me please....
Visit her, keep her busy, and the next 21 days may not be so difficult for her.